Oh yes, this again. I remember that I "overreacted" 6 months ago where I said I wanted to quit. Well, I'm a bit more serious about that, I'm already on hiatus but I don't wanna even upload things anymore and stuff and for the time being I'll just quit. Maybe not, I'm not sure how to handle all of this. I'm a toxic person, you know? And I can't do this anymore, this jealousy, feeling not good enough..a part of it comes from the editing community and I'm beginning to feel worse and worse and I love editing, or I loved it..I just don't know anymore. I know nothing. I don't want to upload vents anymore, I have no motivation what so ever to even edit.
I will do all the parts I signed up for but that's it.
But nobody would miss my editing anyways, I'm not good enough for this whole thing anyways, I hate it. I hate everything, please don't even try to say otherwise or I'll react worse.
I'm tired. Tired of feeling this jealousy and feeling lonely, I can't do this anymore. I won't care again too, I already vented this to a few friends, but..nobody cares for me like I care for others and I can't do this anymore, it destroys me.
I'm always going to be alone, this is truly a fact. Well, I deserve it. Look at how I react when I'm not feeling well, I lash out at everything, leaving stuff and thinking about ending all my friendship and just quitting in general and this isn't healthy anymore. It's toxic.
Sorry for this rant. I don't know if I'll come back but yea, maybe. Maybe when I find motivation, but I won't change my mind, I won't respond to a thing, maybe I'll just deactivate the comments..
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